September is suicide prevention month. The following devotion will deal with that subject at length; if it is upsetting for you to read about suicide, skip this week’s devotion. If you want to talk about any part of the devotion or about your/a loved one’s experience of suicide with me, reach out for a conversation.

Whenever we hear the word suicide, for most of us, it conjures up a face. It might be the face of someone we knew personally: a friend, neighbor, classmate, coworker, or relation. It might be the face of a celebrity, like actor Robin Williams or singer Chester Bennington. It’s important, when we talk about suicide, to realize that we may be talking about someone’s loved one– or about their own thoughts and pain.

And, of course, when we talk about suicide, we want to say the “right” thing. We are afraid that if we are too serious or not serious enough, or if we say too much or too little, or if we mess up in some other way, we will somehow add to the problem. And, indeed, there are some things that are downright unhelpful, like saying “It’s not that bad” or “Cheer up!” or “You shouldn’t think about that.” Instead, saying something like, “I care about you. Tell me more about how you’re feeling right now,” can open conversation without being judgmental or adding to pain. (For more about how to be present and supportive with a suicidal person, check out this link from Rethink Mental Illness.)

Couldn’t we just skip this conversation altogether? Simply put, no. We can’t. 

Last week, I attended an event for clergy at Camp Dodge, hosted by Army and Air Force National Guard chaplains. When asked, “What are the big issues you see from the soldiers and airmen you support?” every single one answered “suicidality.” THe CDC reports that in 2022, the most recent year with complete data, American suicide rates reached 14.2 per 100,000 people, tied with 2018 for the highest rate since 1941. Iowa was worse than the national average, with 18.5 suicides per 100,000. Men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women. Roughly half of all suicide deaths were completed by firearm. (Suicide prevention organizations recommend that gun owners store their guns unloaded and locked for just this reason– to give those people considering suicide more time to change their mind.)

So, yes, we have to have these conversations. 

As Christians, we approach this conversation from social and statistical angles, but also from a spiritual one. It’s important to reject the idea held by some Christians that suicide is some kind of unforgivable sin. Even 500 years ago, Martin Luther stated:

I don’t share the opinion that suicides are certainly to be damned. My reason is that they do not wish to kill themselves but are overcome by the power of the devil. They are like a man who is murdered in the woods by a robber… It is very certain that, as to all persons who have hanged themselves, or killed themselves in any other way, ’tis the devil who has put the cord round their necks, or the knife to their throats. -Martin Luther, Table Talks

In other words, our response toward suicidal thoughts or actions should be grounded in compassion and love. Even centuries before medicine began to understand mental illness, a pastor like Martin Luther saw the burden and pain carried by people who died of suicide. 

And yet, we can remind those who are suffering in the valley of the shadow of death that even there, God is with them. (Psalm 23:4) We can declare to those who wonder if death is their only option that Jesus came that they might have life, and not just any old life, but abundant life. (John 10:10) We can promise them that we’re here to listen and help them bear their pain, just like the Bible teaches us to. (Galatians 6:2)

And it should also be said that if you are among the 13.2 million American adults who thought seriously about suicide in the past year: please stay. You are precious to God and to us at RLC. No matter how bad it might seem now, God will walk with you through it to the light and life on the other side.

 

If you or someone you’re with are experiencing thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for free, trained support and resources. If reading about suicide and suicide prevention is distressing to you, consider reaching out to a therapist, friend, or pastor for support.