Peace Makers

[Jesus said,] “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

-Matthew 5:9

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a training called “peacemaking in polarizing times: tools and training to love our neighbors, families, and co-workers.” The event was to be jointly led by a couple of pastors from two different denominations and a conflict resolution consultant. Over two and a half hours, including dinner, how much could we really learn about being peacemakers? Curious, I signed up.

The training went beyond my expectations. In the 150 minutes together, the presenters covered everything from the state of polarization in the U.S. (short version: worse than ever, but not actually as bad as people think it is) to understanding our own inner polarizing voices, from how to have a depolarizing effect on conversations to standing firm on our convictions without making enemies of our friends or family.

What most struck me was the “why” behind the presenters doing this workshop in the first place. Jesus has called us to be children of God, they said, and since that is true, we are called also to be peacemakers. Not to be peace-keepers. Not to brush conflict under the rug or declare “well there are good people on both sides” or to be doormats. Peace-makers. 

• Getting everyone to agree
• Being nice
• Shutting down arguments
• Hanging out with people who already see the world the way you do
• Tiptoeing around polarizing topics or people

All of those are fine strategies if what you want to do is avoid conflict, change, or growth. They might let you fake peace. They don’t make peace, though. Especially when you consider that peace, in its Biblical sense, is a word that means wholeness and wellness for the entire community– which does require the absence of violence but also so much more. When it comes to relationships, we don’t just want an absence of violence. We want the presence of respect, understanding, and compassion.

So if we want peace, how do we get it? Peacemaking is an active quality. It is work. It is challenging. It doesn’t always go the way we hoped. It is also worth the work, the challenge, the setbacks: because children of God are to be recognized by our peacemaking.

One simple way to be a peacemaker is to intervene when conversation veers into contempt or ridicule of others. (Yes, just like when your fifth-grade teacher advised you to stand up to bullying.)  If somebody sounds like they’re painting with a too-broad brush (“All people who don’t do things my way…”), or assigning motives to others (“They voted that way because they hate us…”), or calling names (“Those people are losers/deplorable/selfish/dumb…”), the unchecked outcome will be a breakdown in peace. But it doesn’t have to be that way! We are children of God, and therefore peacemakers.

A peacemaker is authorized to speak up. They might say, “Hey, it seems like you’re generalizing,” or “How do you know what’s in that person’s heart?” or “Does saying that add or diminish peace?” or “I love to laugh, too, but could we avoid laughing at other people?” or “You’re my friend, but I’m not going to stick around for a conversation that belittles people who are made in God’s image.”

A peacemaker might say these things to someone with whom they disagree– but more importantly, peacemakers also intervene when the one speaking contempt is someone with whom they see eye-to-eye. There’s so much we can do in service of peacemaking and depolarization without ever crossing a party line or stepping outside of our home or even leaving church– and we desperately need that kind of peacemaking in our world. We need the fierce, brave kindness that rejects ridicule. We need the patience that seeks understanding before jumping to conclusions.

In baptism, or its affirmation, those who participate promise to “work for justice and peace in all the world.” That’s a tall order– one that might seem far beyond our reach. Just the same, our call is to do the things that make for peace, even one conversation at a time.